How to Get Kid to Do Homework

Parents often feel it is their duty to their children to do well in school. Of course you are worried about their responsibilities as parents. You can also nervous about their children succeed in life and the job is often the focus of care. But if parents feel it is their responsibility to their children to achieve, must now do something for their children, who need to perform their task and be successful. I think this must be in a position of power as a parent because your child not to give you what you want. The battle for the job is actually a struggle for control. Your child begins to struggle for more control over decisions in their lives, while you feel your job as a parent should be under the control of things. Since both fight harder, and it is a war at home. 


Over the years, I've talked to many parents in the trenches with their children, and have firsthand that there are many creative ways rebellious children and the school work seen. Your child may not remember to do your homework, homework, but not delivered, so careless or negligent, or not studying for consideration. These are just some ways children try to control the little they have retained. When this starts to happen, parents are increasingly out of hand, so to punish, abuse, threaten, argue, or to throw their hands in relation to their children to work for them to do. Now the battle is in full swing, the reactivity is increased anxiety is high, and the tasks that are lost in the hard truth is that shuffle.The can not make their kids do something, not to mention homework. Instead, the idea is to set boundaries, respect for their individual decisions and motivate motivation to help themselves. 

You might think: "You do not know my son you can not motivate to do anything .." But you can start with something to calm down, delay, and do just observing. Note the dance steps are characteristic of the family and see if you and your partner to contribute to the refusal of his son, the battle and apathy. If you take the worry, fear, disappointment and make sure your child is doing their job, ask yourself: "What's wrong with this picture and how this happened?" (Remember, how long they have concerns, have they do not.)
Guide your child, do not try to control 

Many parents tell me that their children are not motivated to do their work. I believe that children are motivated simply can not be motivated if you want to be. Here are some specific tips to guide them in their work to help without having to abuse, threaten or fight with them.
Ask yourself what worked in the past: Think about a time when your child is the work done well and smoothly done. What was different? What did work this time? Ask your child and believe what he says. See what works and what motivates them instead of what motivates you.
Stop the fight night. The way you can stop struggling with your child about homework every night is to stop fighting with them tonight. Withdrawal from the dance. Choose a few different measures or decide not to dance at all. Let the job stays where it belongs: between teacher and student. They refuse to get drawn into the school in the future. Stay focused on your work, which is helping your child do their work. 

Take a break: If you feel frustrated or a reactive break to help your child with homework. His blood pressure increase is a non-win situation for everyone. Take five or ten minutes to calm your child and do the same if you feel a storm to.
Establish the necessary structures in place: Set boundaries around homework. Here are some of the possibilities I have found to work effectively with families:

    * The task is executed at the same time every night.
    * The task is performed in a public area of ​​your home.
    * If figures or fall, take away screen time for your child can focus and have more time to concentrate on their work.
    * Make it a rule that the weekend activities will not happen until the work is completed. The job comes first. As James Lehman says: "The weekend starts homework is done." 

Let the "box" of your child and stay in your own. If you start over-focuses on the work of his son, to pause and reflect on their own goals. What are your goals in life and what the "task" What to do to achieve those goals? The model of their own survival and perseverance of his son.
Allow your child to make choices and the affected owner 

I suggest that within the parameters around homework, the child is free to make their own decisions. It is necessary to step back a bit as a parent, otherwise it will not help you with your responsibilities. If you have too much control over the situation, it will backfire on you to be a power struggle. And believe me, you do not want a power struggle over the tasks. I have many children do poorly on purpose just to show their parents', who is in charge. " I have also seen that children with the convenience of their parents, the fear, but these same children never learn to think and make decisions for themselves. 

I am a great believer in natural consequences when it comes to homework. Within the framework set up, your child has several options. You can choose to do their homework or not, and do it well and with difficulty or not. Logical consequences arising from the decisions you make, if you choose to do their work, their grades go down.
When that happens, you can ask questions that are not loaded, as
"Are you satisfied with how it goes?
"If not, what do you do with it?"
"How helpful to you?" 

The expectation is that the job is done to the extent of the ability of your child. When you stop making an effort and see their rates fall, when they invite you in. You can say: "Now it's my job to help you improve your work. I will help you establish a plan to help right and I will check to make sure that you are after. "propose a plan with the participation of his son to return him to his feet. For example, the new rules are that the task should be performed in a public place in your home up to his level back up. You and your child can meet with the teacher to the disciplinary measures to keep the notes is to discuss. In other words, you help your child get back on track, making a concrete plan in place. Anfad at the sight of this change, you can step back outside. But before that, your child will sit in a public place and will work together on your math homework or story. You are also check-in. Depending on the age of your child, we make sure that things are checked before he leaves. It adds one hour and half of the time to evaluate his subjects every day. And then every day after school, is to consult with the instructor or a little extra help. Remember that this plan is not punishment, is a practical way to help your child do their best. 

If they say they do not care about poor grades
Many parents say their children do not care about their grades. My guess is that somewhere inside, I care. "I do not care 'is also part of a power struggle. In other words, your child says, "I will not care, because I do not. You do not own my life," The truth is that you can not get attention. Instead focus on helping to improve their behavior. Do not focus on attitude as much as you do. 





I think it is important to understand that the care and motivation comes from the property. You can help your child to be motivated by you to your own life. So the disappointment of his own qualifications. Feel no more than he. Let him choose what to do or not do their homework and face the consequences of those decisions. Now you start to feel the property, which can cause concern. Let him know what motivates them, are not motivated by fear for you. Help guide, but he does not prevent the effects of the real life of bad decisions, such as not doing his job. Think of it this way: it is best for your child to learn the effects of ten years of failure at school and at summer school for him to learn at age 25 to lose their jobs.
If your child has a learning disability 

I find it very important to make sure there are no problems with learning about the refusal of others to your child to do homework. If he is having a difficult time at work or takes place below the grade level expectations to be tested for the presence of learning difficulties or other problems.
If a learning disability, your child may need more help. For example, some children need a little guidance, you may sit with your child and some more help. You can still put structures in place, depending on who is his son. Often children with learning disabilities and help so many fall into the "learned helplessness" trap. Make sure that no more, that works for your disabled child to learn his job for him or for filling in the answers as it is able to think for themselves. 

The difference between orientation and performance
Your child needs guidance from you, but I understand that counseling is not the task of writing for him. Rather, it is their words revise. Crossing over the line in use, are you with your child's work and places the responsibility on his shoulders. So you want to help you through editing your book report itself, making the time to look before one exam, or using James Lehman "Help obstacle" opens its duties. This can be a good way to support your child, but nothing more than that is taking too much ownership of their work. 



If your child asks for help, you can coach. Suggest you talk to your teacher about how to be a good student, learning and communication skills. In other words, we show how to help yourself. It should not back together, is that a middle way that you want. That's why I think it is important to a structure, you just put the fence right at all times. And within that structure, you expect your child to do what you have to do a good student. 

I also tell the parents from one place to believe in their children. Do not keep searching for her son as a poor creature who get the job done. I often come to the table with fear and doubt, we think that if our children, who not only do help. But as you say, 'I'm just trying to help, "what your child really hear is" You're a failure. "There is an underlying message that children pick up, which is quite different from what parents-to. And that message is:" Never Enough "and" You can not do. "Instead, his message is:" I know you can do And I believe in you enough to create your own decisions and face the consequences .. "

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